Active Listening 3: Listening Tips

Alright guys, last video, this is John REI Wealth Academy. Welcome Back! We’re rounding out secret eight, secret nine, secret ten here in a bit. I got my third video, final video, for active listening on secret eight. The one thing I want you guys to take from this is just, I shouldn’t say the one thing, the few things I want you to take from are the tips that we got for you. And these are just some things to get you rolling.

There are so many things that are out there. Every situations going to be different. But at the end of the day, there’s some key ones that I really want you to focus on over all. We already talked about making sure that you’re listening, seventy percent of the time talking no more than 30% of the time. How do you gauge that? Well honestly maybe you have, that’s why we have the scripts, you already have some of those questions laid out. Let them talk. Let them tell you their life story if you have to, you might even be on the phone for an hour talking to people.

Honestly there’s a couple deals that I’ve done, where literally I’ve had somebody call me back out of the blue after I’ve been on the phone with them for an hour and a half months ago, calling up and actually putting a deal together. Just making sure that that person feels comfortable with what they’re doing, even though they have reservations, and just at every point in time just really getting to the truth of what it is.

Part of what I was doing, with some of the tips I’m going to give you. Now, even though some of that was over the phone, I can tell you to make sure if you are skyping with somebody, that could be a little bit different with technology or whatever, but it’s not a bad thing to even practice while you’re there. If you’re in person especially, eye contact, eye contact, eye contact, eye contact.

You don’t have to keep it, you know, crazy and just watch them intently the whole time. Occasionally, the majority of the time, when people connect, one of the things that they really connect with, and it’s just the psychology of our brains. We really connect with people that we actually create eye contact with. So it’s okay every now and then to look off as you’re gathering a thought or something like that, but make sure that when you are listening to them, you are actually looking at them when you’re doing that. You’ll look at them in the eye or whatever the case might be.

And try not to get distracted. Don’t you know, start thinking about all the other stuff. Really key into what they’re thinking, but also make sure you’re giving eye talk, and give a pleasant smile. You know at the end of the day, this is supposed to be fun; you’re supposed to be connecting. The vibrancy of life is supposed to be in your speech in the non-verbal cues that you have, so be happy to be there with that person. Show that person that, you know, they might have a deal for you, but at the end of the day show them just simply, that it’s a joy to be around them. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

The second thing I want to get into a little bit is repeat sentences back. Number one, that’s for you to be able to synthesize. Now they might have gone on for a long, long time, and that’s fine. But just take some of those key points and try to remember. Again if you’re being honest with yourself, you can say “Hey, you know what? You are talking a lot of good stuff, a lot of this stuff makes sense. Do you mind if I just break out a pen and pencil? I know I’m not going to remember everything, but I feel like we’re connecting. We’re having a good conversation here. Let me just write some of these notes down as we go through, and make sure I understand where you’re coming from.”

And show a genuine interest, again that goes, being introspective on yourself. Knowing yourself. Be able to jump back into that conversation. Be like, you know you said this and this, it kind of cued into my head that you were thinking this. Maybe we could put a deal together. ‘Cause maybe you went in and talking about maybe buying a house from that person, you’re actually finding out that the person actually wants to get back into investing.

So now you might have another partner instead. So again, you want to make sure that you’re doing that. So being honest with yourself, repeat those sentences back to them, they like hearing, people in general, we are pretty narcissistic to begin with so we do like hearing the same sentences that we heard back. The one thing that people love hearing the most is their own name. Use their name when you’re talking to them. Hi John! Hi Steve!

Oh, that makes a lot of sense Steve. Oh that makes a lot of sense John. No I can see why you’d want to invest in single lease options. That makes total sense. Make sure you’re using their name. And you don’t want to use it at every single sentence, but make sure you’re actually using it. The thing is, the more that you use their name, when you see them again, when you’re a dummy like me and you have a hard time remembering names. The more that you can put their name in as you’re talking to them. The more you’re going to remember it. Cause I’m a situational learner and the more words that I can put into play about, cause I can remember parts of the conversation. I can remember things that really were remarkable for me in that conversation.

So with that, I make sure that I try to put more names in there, when that remarkable thing happens. That way I tend to remember the name a little bit better, or I write it down. Also, the questions that you’re asking. You want to make sure that they are clarification questions, if you’re gonna be repeating sentences back to them, then have a follow up question as well.  

You do want to be leading them, depending on what type of conversation that you’re having, but you also want to let them kind of take the lead too, and you want to show them that respect, overall.

So those are a few of the tips that I find between making sure you keep eye contact, repeat sentences back to them, repeat their name, and always make sure that you’re asking really good clarification question. And again, listening 70% of the time, talking 30% of the time. That’s John. I’ll be signing of for the secret number eight active listening. Remember to follow us on Facebook on REI Wealth Academy or reiwealthacademy.com the blog.

Again if you’re in Roanoke Valley, you guys are killing it out there. It’s awesome! Roanoke Real Estate Education group on Facebook, get after it, and we’ll see you next time for secret nine, and secret ten. See ya!

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